Why I want to teach well

As the oldest one in the cohort, you would think that I would have the greatest degree of certainty about my commitment to pursue teaching. I am afraid that I don’t. I am often questioning my decision to become a teacher, even though it was a long path to get here. I want to teach because I want to make a difference in children’s lives. What I don’t know is, can I indeed do that well?

I pursued journalism because I wanted to help make lives better. I think I was able to help do that. Many stories I reported or edited led to improved lives for people. The stories led to changes ranging from bringing sewer services to children who attended school in waste to reforming the ethics rules for how the government conducts experiments, from ousting corrupt public officials to reforming how the state investigates and handles child abuse. But throughout almost 30 years of journalism, I always felt as I was on the sidelines. I could give people information that would help people take action, but often times shedding light led to no action or indifference. As the industry’s problems grew, I felt increasingly as if I was trying to save journalism to be able to make a difference, so I was becoming even more distanced from touching people’s lives.

Throughout my decades of journalism, I saw thousands of types of careers. Out of all of the ones I witnessed, the one that had the most profound impact on people’s lives was teaching. Great teachers can change lives. They can empower and inspire. They can give confidence and hope to children and communities. I am drawn to that opportunity and have been for many years.

I also admit I am partially drawn because teaching needs contributions from people with varied talents and experiences. Teachers always have been so undervalued. The pay does not begin to reflect their value. Their status among professionals is low. The profession desperately needs to draw people with rich experiences, but lacks the incentives to help do that. In a very, very small way, my move to teaching in the last stage of my professional life is a small step in trying to help reverse that.

Yet my greatest fear is that I won’t be able to do it well. The first six weeks of the program have delivered a huge amount of knowledge about teaching. They have been inspiring, making me even more eager to get in the classroom. But they also have revealed the complexity of teaching, the desperate need to improve it and the potential to cause harm. To not do it well would defeat my whole purpose for pursuing teaching: I want to make a difference, but it must be a positive one. My hope is that the coming year will give me the skills, the confidence and the wisdom to know I can do that.