Pondering Privilege

I never pondered privilege to the depth I have in this class. In fact, I don't know that I have even used the word 'privilege' to describe those that hold power. But twice this week I've had the privilege to speak to an African-American mother and her daughter about privilege and the codes of power.

First, the mother called my house looking for her daughter. It was almost 11:00 p.m. and she knew that her daughter had taken care of my child earlier in the day. She was quite worried because she and her daughter had a fight the previous night. And it wasn't like her to not check in. So the mother and I chatted for almost an hour (upon which her daughter had come home). But what we talked about most was privilege.

For they reside in West Linn, where I live, and have been surrounded by white middle to upper class families. She felt it was a privilege to live and educate her children here. This comment struck me. Why didn't she think it was her right? So we talked about our class discussions and the code of power. I expressed that she provided her children with an incredible gift - they learned the code of power. They can speak, write, dress, and interact in ways that make Caucasian people feel very comfortable. Thus, her children will have a better chance at becoming what they want to become in this country. The mother had never thought about this 'privilege' either.

The second instance was during a discussion today with the daughter about her experiences in college and high school. Although she was one of four black children in the high school (her sister and brother were two of the other three) she never felt discriminated against. When she went off to college, she often found herself ostracized by other black people for being too 'white' (even though she has very dark skin). She didn't talk, write, dress, or interact with her black peers in a manner they felt was appropriate merely based on her skin color. So we talked about privilege, codes of power, and how it might feel to not have access to these.for the rest of their lives. I impressed upon her that she should try to help teach her peers. Help them come to terms with their own thoughts about privilege. Help them understand that learning how and when to use the 'methods' that make up codes of power will actually give them a pathway in to power. And once in, then they are in a place to make changes. Unfortunately, this is the reality at the moment….even though it appalls me.

In her book Other People's Children, Lisa Delpit eloquently stated a similar idea. "They seem to believe that if we accept and encourage diversity within classrooms of children, then diversity will automatically be accepted at gatekeeping points. I believe it will never happen….No I am certain that if we are truly to effect societal change, we cannot do so from the bottom up, but we must push and agitate from the top down. And in the meantime, we must take responsibility to teach, to provide for students who do not already possess them, the additional codes of power."

I think Ms. Delpit is not asserting that only teachers are responsible, but in fact, we (or anyone who knows the codes) are to use every opportunity to pass them to those that don't. I hope I planted a seed in the daughter's head. And I hope to continue mentoring her so she can become what ever she wants and make the societal changes that are in such need of changing.