First of all - I have to say that I am so glad to know you all and feel incredibly fortunate to have heard or read what all of you have to say and share. You're incredible.
Now, onto talking about me... These past few weeks have been intense to say the least. I think we are all probably suffering from mild exhaustion, depression and my back has this “hunched over reading books” position that just won’t go away.
I had a mild panic attack the other night when I thought, “I don’t want to be a teacher! There is way too much pressure, responsibility and work. I’ll be getting paid crap, probably have to deal with some obnoxious parents, and I’ll have tens of thousands of dollars in debt sitting in my back pocket all the while.
Then I got this message from a former teacher/parent of two children I taught and babysat:
“Hey Emily, Ellery said you came to visit her yesterday and you gave her a hug and told her you loved her. Then she started crying and saying, “When is she coming back?” It was so SAD.”
A day or two after that a student I had two years ago called to say hi. Three days after that a middle school student of mine from last year called asking if I would come visit him this summer.
This all isn’t to toot my own horn (TOOT TOOT!) - though it definitely felt great to get all of those messages – the real point is that I’m sure teachers all have those moments at some point when it doesn’t seem worth it at all, and then they have the moments where it is all more than worth it and they couldn’t imagine doing anything else. The growth I've experienced, connections I've made and children I've met (and sometimes adults...) all remind me of why I want to teach.
I’m excited to get into the classroom this fall to help pick up my spirits and get to hang out with a bunch of squishies*. I think it can be a good thing for us all to focus on when we are laying in a crumpled up heap on the floor with books from Zaher on one side, glue stuck to our faces and hands from an art collage, materials for our science project flung about and we're on moodle looking up our readings. (I just really wanted to say moodle). I think it will help continue to motivate me and be a constant reminder why I love education.
Hopefully.
Otherwise, I will become an international pop superstar and never look back.
*squishies: noun, term to describe any child, particularly those that are under the age of 7 and are cute
hahahaha.. First of all I love your definition of squishies!
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with you completely. I remember two years ago, my dad sent me an email saying that his former student and football player emailed him to give him an update to how he was doing. He forwarded me the email and it said how he has a wife, 4 children who are all successful student athletes and they live in The Dalles, Oregon. He talked about how he became a special ed. teacher because of my dad and without the guidance of my dad he'd probably have ended up in jail or doing drugs. So he thanked my dad and asked him if he could meet up with him later. A year later, I met this man, Daniel and his daughter, and I hear horror stories of how mean of coach my dad was but at the end of it all, he said "Your dad is a great guy, and a great teacher"
I too have had my own moments. But when I think about why I want to become a teacher, I think about how much I want to positively influence someone and hopefully change their life for the better. And if not emily, maybe we can start a band using kitchen instruments!! :)
But what I think is most exciting is that, our teaching careers have just begun and just with this upcoming year, I'm sure that we'll be able to share with each other some crazy ridiculous stories and some heart warming stories. But I took am really excited to get into the classroom!!!!
oh and one thing my roommate told me today that i never really thought of before.. maybe you'll have but she said "being an elementary teacher is awesome you don't have to grade papers!!" hahahaha.. maybe i'm just tired but I was like HELL YEAH!
:)